


But What of Eurydice?

by Raaj



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: F/F, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 03:12:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raaj/pseuds/Raaj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And what did she think, when her Orpheus looked back?  Reunion fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But What of Eurydice?

The memory of Anthy out of reach, outside of Utena's ability to help, dangling in the air as her body was pierced by countless swords, is still fresh in mind. Months have passed, and Utena keeps putting one foot forward, but her heart and mind are stretching out to cover a distant expanse.

She doesn't know where Anthy is. Still the Rose Bride? Still the sacrifice? So pierced by hate that she thinks she has to be another person's tool?

Utena is not afraid of the world, and she makes certain to stay in it, in this new school. She wants for Anthy to be able to find know this world isn't one to be afraid of because they can meet in it.

But, in the end, Anthy had slipped away--no. She had _let_ Anthy slip away. Why should the other girl trust her as a prince, then? As a protector? She'd tried so hard, and yet not been quite enough.

Her mind turns in circles until it has done a full rotation, pointing back to where it came from, and Utena finds herself staring down a transfer form to request acceptance to Ohtori Academy.

Going back means more duels, if the revolution is still being sought after. It means more pain, if Anthy continue to be the Rose Bride. --But of course it means more pain, because Anthy suffers every moment she is the Rose Bride.

Utena sits down with the transfer form and steadily, aching, fills it out, every moment remembering the pain of those million swords. Her penmanship is as smooth as her finest swordstroke. Her teachers likely would have been surprised to see it.

She wonders if Akio will kill her, should she go back, but maybe he'll try to seduce her first. More likely, her request will be denied outright and she'll have to live with the regret of having failed Anthy.

What Utena hasn't been expecting is for the secretary's desk to suddenly be vacated, the chair swinging just slightly. How can that be? She never heard the secretary leave.

"Utena."

Her head snaps up in shock--and she almost turns around, but then reminds herself she shouldn't be so surprised. Anthy doesn't seem to be, her voice placid and cool. Of course Anthy might be here, Utena thinks to herself. The office itself is connected to Ohtori Academy. But to be discovered like this, for Anthy to be here like this...Utena could not be sure what to expect. Was Anthy here under Akio's direction? She has to be. Why be here otherwise? Then whatever she said, Utena could not take it to heart. For both their sakes. This is the beginning of another round.

She keeps her head pointed away, trying to find her composure. "Long time no see, Himemiya. Have you been all right?"

"Mm. But you don't seem so well, Utena."

"Really? I'm just put out that that secretary's disappeared to who-knows-where..."

"Perhaps she had somewhere to be."

Utena knew enough now to consider the possibility of Anthy _giving_ the woman somewhere to be.

"Do you know the legend of Eurydice?"

"Eurydice?" Leave it to Anthy to ask a strange question. Eurydice is a strange name, too. "I can't say I have..."

"I suppose her husband is the better known one. A gentle player of the lyre, Orpheus," and this foreign name Utena does vaguely recognize as it comes curled from Anthy's lips. "The poor man ventured down into the underworld to retrieve her. His touch on the string, keen with grief, was such that he lulled the hound of Hades to sleep, and the god himself was moved by the song. He agreed to Orpheus' request to let his wife return to the realm of the living, on one condition. She would follow behind him, and he must never look back at her, until they were both fully within the lands of the living again.

"Of course, the story is a tragedy."

Her fingers twitch, or her hands loosen; she's not sure exactly how she moved, but the forms have fallen through her hands to the floor. Utena doesn't move, doesn't bend to pick them up. She can't. Doing so might chance a look back at Anthy, only to see nothing but a shed skin of fabric left behind by its vanished owner. Except--that's too simple. It can't be her task is as simple as not looking at Anthy, whose words have reassured her so far that she is here.

...Here, in the transfer offices. Utena's heart grows cold at the thought. Perhaps this has been a test all along, and she has already failed, looking back to the school with doubt that Anthy had emerged from her coffin.

"Anthy...don't tell me..."

"Utena." A hand snakes onto her arm, and Utena startles in surprise, but still she forces herself to not turn around; some part of her still grasps to the hope that she can salvage a chance by not looking back physically. "This tale is always told from Orpheus' point of view. But what of his wife? What of Eurydice?"

Anthy's arm turns to catch Utena under the shoulder, pinning her ever so lightly into place. She has to fight not to tense, not to turn around. She doesn't mean to let her throat tighten either, but it happens too quickly for her to stop. It feels like a trap she doesn't want to escape.

"What of Eurydice?" Anthy asks again, her tone smooth and deep.

"She was let down," Utena answers. "He didn't save her. She followed him all that way... I'm sure she had many hopes. But he couldn't be her prince. Wouldn't she hate him for it?" Do you hate me, that I couldn't be yours?

It sounds like dread confirmation when Anthy leans into her shoulder with a small chuckle, and for a split-second Utena expects a blade in her side to drive the point of failure home one last time.

Then there is wetness on her back, and Utena arches in surprise. "Himemiya?" It's a whisper with so little breath behind it. In an instant she whirls around, forgetting the thought of a test, the fear of a blade, only believing that her friend is hurt. She catches herself just as she goes to hug the other girl-- but then she does anyway. If looking back is the test, she's failed. She's failed so many times over. How could she look away from Anthy?

At least for this instant, her friend feels real and substantial. Here with her, and not just the empty cloth of a dress. There is the warmth of skin to feel, the weight of long, thick hair.

"Would you comfort me even now?" Anthy murmurs. "I have been Eurydice. I have waited, waited, waited in my coffin, never truly believing I would be saved. And I drew you deeper and deeper into an underworld of magic and deceit. But even when you knew all the dangers, you came in deeper still to save me. And all I had to do to be free was follow you. But I didn't give you the smallest sign that I was behind you, following. So for me, you looked back toward a nightmare once more." She lifts her head up, and her face is one that stuns Utena, as it's so unlike the mild girl who tended the roses: there are tears in her eyes, yet she wears a small smile that is at the same time twisted up, thorned against any retorts that might come her way. She's not wearing her glasses. "I think, Utena, if Eurydice hated anyone, it was herself. For putting someone she loved through a nightmare, and for not making the slightest move to reassure them that the efforts they'd gone through weren't in vain."

"But-- you said it was a tragedy," Utena says. She feels like she's teetering, not knowing how to take Anthy's words. Well, that's one thing that hasn't changed, then. "I-- Orpheus..."

"Utena," Anthy interrupts, and reaches up a hand to her cheek. Belatedly, Utena realizes she's been crying herself. "Did you think you were Orpheus? You bargained with no one."

**Author's Note:**

> I binged on the series a few weeks back and the talk of coffins, and characters trying to rescue each other from theirs, eventually put me in mind of Orpheus trying to save Eurydice from the underworld. I found it interesting to consider what Utena might start thinking as time got longer and longer and she still didn't know where Anthy was, though it seems like the more popular take is that she forgets Ohtori somewhat. I think most of all I just wanted to touch on the feelings Utena shows right after Anthy's coffin falls, and the passage of time between Utena leaving the school and Anthy leaving it to find her.


End file.
